I grew up in a family where worrying was the favorite past time. This became so ingrained in me, I didn’t realize that of the 60,000 or so thoughts I had a day — most were worry thoughts. I’d be lying if I said I never worry — I am still a work in progress for sure. These are a few things that I’ve learned along the way. I preface this as before that Law of Attraction is non-judgmental and functions both good and bad. Today we look at the “bad” so that we can hopefully attract the “good”.
WORRY: THOUGHTS ATTRACT MORE THOUGHTS
Worry thoughts attract more thoughts about things to worry about.
ex. worrying about if you left the garage door opens leads to thoughts about if you turned the coffee maker off which leads to thoughts about if the house will burn down…
ADJUSTMENT: periodically check how you’re feeling. If it is anxious, agitated, stressed…. take three deep breaths (or more if needed).
WORRY: ATTRACTS THE THINGS YOU ARE WORRIED ABOUT
ex. It could be a general worry thought — This is going to be a terrible day. OR It can be a specific worry thought — If I’m not careful, I’m going to spill something on this new suit and look ridiculous at my meeting.
ADJUSTMENT: first thing when you awaken, start giving thanks for all the great things you already have: comfortable bed, woke up, toilet to pee in…then give thanks for all the things you expect: enjoyable ride to work, chance to shine at your meeting, how great you look in your new suit… You can’t have two thoughts at the same time. Plant a flower before the weed has a chance to grow.
WORRY: BLOCKS WHAT YOU WANT and INCREASES WHAT YOU DON’T WANT
ex. “What you resist not only persists, it will grow in size.” (C. Jung) I can attest to this with my issues with Multiple Chemical Sensitivities. I resisted speaking up and felt invisible (got an invisible illness). Refused to leave a toxic job and toxic relationships (got disabled from toxic chemicals).
ADJUSTMENT: Surrender. This is one of the most power things you can do. Surrender involves making a shift in thoughts, feelings or actions. If you don’t think a shift is powerful then I challenge you to be somewhere that the plates of the earth have shifted and still believe that. Obviously in our case we want the shift to be toward creative rather than destructive forces. If your boss is rude and foul-mouthed and you are timid. You can shift to being like them and yell obscenities back. BUT this is not surrender. Surrender is taking a breath and from a place deep inside yourself assertively believing, “I deserve to be spoken to in a professional and respectful manner.” And own those words.
WORRY: IS DISRESPECTFUL (don Miguel Ruiz)
ex. Parent to child: “You can’t go horseback riding it is too dangerous.” What the child hears: you don’t trust me to make my own decisions, to learn a new skill, to use my intuition to decide what is safe and not safe.
Worry has been presented to me, so very often, as an act of love. In fact, worry is a fear-based emotion. Check this for yourself when you are worried about doing something — do you feel love and trust for your decisions or fear and distrust.
ADJUSTMENT: Ask yourself why you are worried about the other person (or yourself). Is it because you yourself are too scared to do that activity and you’d have to face your own fear? Is it because you’re afraid to lose control over the other person? Does the other person’s actions challenge you to realize you have been living a very small life when you know you are destined to live a more abundant life? Do you feel you are disconnected from Source so that things lurk behind every corner? Is it as one person told me, a habit?
Of course with the asking of the why — now that you have the answer — take action to release the worry. Have fun horseback riding. It’s amazing. Or whatever you fear is.
WORRY: I know…
ex. I know implies knowledge which implies fact. Are you sure? Look at history at all the things that humans have known for certain. The earth is the center of the universe. Not quite. People should be jailed and prosecuted for saying things that contradict this belief because the common folks might fall into mass hysteria. Really. We all seem to be quite fine now accepting that the earth is not the center of it all.
ADJUSTMENT: SUSPENSION OF BELIEF
For a day, give up on the phrase, “I know…” Not just the things you are worried about but everything. I know I’m going to get the flu because I get it every year. I know he could never love me. I know I love potatoes. I know my kid is going to be lousy in math because I’m lousy at math. I’m going to puke on the plane because I get motion sickness. I know no one is going to buy my new book. I know I’m going to be famous.
At the end of the day how much of what you knew is true. I found it interesting that of what I wrote all but one sentence contained the word “going”. This is a future word. If you did the same thing then I ask if you are such a great predictor of the world please tell me how to have the perfect life because obviously you know what is going to happen. I will predict that the things you know on a daily basis will show up on your doorstep some how. So how about adjusting what you “know” to things you actually want.
WORRY: LACK, LOSS, ABANDONMENT
ex. I bet if you were to write down all of your worries — they in some way would involve a concern over losing something. Loss of love, financial security, fame, prestige, control, health, freedom… This of course means you are focusing on having more loss in your life. And as things spiral downward and you worry more then you lose more things.
ADJUSTMENT: Laugh, Dance, Play
Some eyebrows may go up at this but think about it. If you want to float should you think about ways to float or sink — flying do you contemplate flying or crashing — love do you release feelings of love or hate — happiness do you laugh or say snarky things — trusting relationship do you practice trust or worry?
If you can’t figure out how to stop worrying — stop trying to stop worrying. Go do something that you find fun. Pet a kitty, go sailing, plant flowers, dance, meditate… it is hard to worry if you are laughing. It is easier for solutions to glide to you over calm waters rather than rough and choppy seas.