I write this post for a very special young man who has and always will have a place in my heart. I believe he is empathic (the spiritual definition of the word) like me.
Empathetic — Oh the difference the letters ‘ET’ can make– to me is to have understanding and compassion for a person who has gone through a similar situation — maybe you both got cut from the sports team or failed a class.
Empaths often feel like the movie character E.T. (the extra-terrestrial) — lost and alone in a strange world actually feeling the feelings of others. It may not be the exact feeling. One day, I was doubled over in pain grasping my chest and my son asked if he should call 911. I said, “I’m in pain.” “I can see that Mom. What do I do?” And this is the life of an empath, my response, “It’s not my pain.”
It turns out that at that moment the young boy I write this for — his father was stung by a lot of bees. I did not feel actual bee stings — but I did feel intense pain. (PS he is fine).
I also actually feel “good” feelings but unfortunately the more intense the emotion the more likely I will feel it — fewer people apparently in my life are feeling intensely happy.
I shall direct this to my “Fifteen Year Old Self” from my “Now Self”. These are things I wish I knew back then.
YOU’RE NOT ALONE. EVEN IF YOU FEEL LIKE EVERYONE ELSE IS DIFFERENT. THERE ARE OTHERS LIKE YOU.
SOMETIMES IT WILL FEEL LIKE YOU ARE BEING ATTACKED FOR NO REASON. IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT. AVOID THE NEWS AND VIOLENT MOVIES AND DEPRESSING SONGS.
IT’S OKAY TO WANT TO GET AWAY AND SPEND TIME ALONE.EVEN FROM YOUR BEST FRIENDS. YOU’RE NOT WEIRD — SELFISH — UNKIND — IMPOLITE.
WHEN YOU DON’T KNOW WHOSE ENERGY YOU ARE RECEIVING — IT CAN BE EASY TO BELIEVE IT IS YOUR OWN — EVEN IF YOU KNOW THERE IS NO REASON YOU SHOULD FEEL THAT WAY. WITH PRACTICE THIS CHANGES.
SET BOUNDARIES. EVEN IF IT IS JUST FROM THE “NORMAL” GOSSIP AND TEENAGE STRIFE. YOU’RE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR OTHER PEOPLE’S PAIN. IN FACT, IF YOU TAKE IT FOR THEM THEY WILL NEVER ACTUALLY BE RID OF IT. IT WILL COME BACK UNTIL THEY DEAL WITH IT — BECAUSE ONLY THEY CAN. YOU WILL BE CAUGHT IN AN ENDLESS LOOP OF YOU TAKING THEIR PAIN AND THEM CREATING MORE….
IT’S TOUGH TO ADMIT THAT YOUR PARENTS HAVE FEARS. YOU WILL KEEP TELLING YOURSELF THAT IT IS YOUR PURPOSE TO PROTECT YOUR FAMILY — THAT EVERYTHING WILL BE BETTER IF ONLY YOU CAN TAKE THEIR PAIN AWAY. IT IS NOT YOUR PURPOSE. YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY OF YOUR PARENTS’ UNHAPPINESS. THEY HAVE PROBABLY BEEN IN PAIN AND UNHAPPY SINCE THEY WERE CHILDREN BECAUSE THEY TOOK ON THEIR PARENTS’ PAIN. BUT AS AN EMPATH — YOU ARE PHYSICALLY TAKING ON THE PAIN — NOT GOOD FOR A HAPPY LIFE OR A HEALTHY BODY. STOP.
YOU NEED TO CLEAR OUT THE TOXIC MUCK…
ENERGY IS NOT AFFECTED BY TIME OR SPACE. HANG OUT WITH HAPPY PEOPLE. THINK HAPPY THOUGHTS. LISTEN TO UPLIFTING MUSIC. DO THINGS THAT BRING YOU JOY.
LEARN TO MEDITATE. IN DEEP MEDITATION NO ONE ELSE’S ENERGY CAN GET TO YOU.
FIND A SPIRITUAL PATH. IN LEARNING ABOUT SOURCE (OR GOD)– YOU’LL ALSO LEARN HOW TO BLOCK ENERGY FROM OTHERS.
ACCEPT IT AS A GIFT RATHER THAN A CURSE. YOU’RE NOT BEING PUNISHED. YOU DIDN’T DO ANYTHING WRONG. YOU’RE GIVEN A WAY TO HELP OTHERS. MOST PEOPLE CAN ONLY GUESS HOW ANOTHER PERSON IS FEELING — YOU ACTUALLY KNOW.
WHEN YOUR FEELINGS GET CONFUSED BECAUSE SOMEONE YOU LIKE IS SO VERY VERY CUTE AND YOU’RE TAKING ON OTHER PEOPLE’S ENERGY AND YOU HAVE A SCIENCE EXAM TO PASS AND YOUR MOM IS UNHAPPY — ASK THIS QUESTION OF THE PERSON YOU ARE WONDERING ABOUT ALLOWING INTO YOUR LIFE…
“DO THEY GENERALLY MAKE ME HAPPIER WHEN THEY ARE IN MY LIFE OR OUT OF MY LIFE?” NEED I SAY, IF IT IS OUT OF YOUR LIFE — YOU HAVE THE COURAGE TO GIVE THEM THE BOOT.
KEEP YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR. REMEMBER YOU CAN ONLY GIVE WHAT YOU HAVE. IF YOU ARE UNHAPPY THAT IS ALL YOU CAN GIVE. IF YOU ARE JOYFUL THAT IS ALL YOU CAN GIVE.
DON’T WORRY. IT’S OKAY TO BE SHY. SOME DAY YOU’LL THINK YOUR GIFT IS COOL (WELL MOST OF THE TIME).