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If you were to make a list of all the people you trust most in the world — who would be on that list? Parents? Children? Spouse? Friends? Family? Co-workers? Celebrities?…?

One might ask “trust them to do what?”  I mean who do you trust to make the right decision most of the time that is in your best interest.

Image8flagWe trust people in uniform to protect our freedom and safety.

That is until a few let us down.

We trust our spouses to love, honor and protect us.

That is until they are human and screw it up.

Image1ME002We trust our government to make laws that will serve the greater good of the people.

That is until supporting the greed of some industries comes before the needs of the very people who created that government.

Image (3)We trust our system of education to elevate and enrich and expand the lives our children.

That is until they try to standardize away all of our children’s uniqueness.

I had an epiphany that after a half a century on this planet I have given most of my trust away to people and organizations that didn’t deserve it — so much so that I have very little left for the one person I should trust the most:  ME.

Song Sparrow GGTtreebuds GGTYesterday, I went out with my camera on a nature walk. I decided that every time I had a snarky thought about my former bosses, co-workers or friends — who didn’t help during my darkest days of my MCS disability — that I would stop walking until I had a peaceful thought about this matter. I averaged about three steps before I had a thought that brought up an old wound. Each time I would come up with a different ending in my mind where this time I had spoken up and said what I should have said or done what I wished I had done the first time around. This made for a long walk and I was literally too emotionally exhausted to do anything else the rest of the day.

Image1catsThe great thing about exhaustion is that since the mind is too tired to spin its nasty thoughts — the quiet inner voice has a chance to be heard. And then there was peace.

On the list of humans that I trust — at the very tippy top of that list should have been my name. I asked myself: “Do I trust myself to do the right thing the next time around?” The answer was and is, “YES!”

I no longer need to spend countless hours rehearsing what I will do or say if I’m again put in a situation that doesn’t serve my greater good. I don’t need to be prepared to be either on the defensive or the offensive.

Image9flowerblossomsIf I want a peaceful life — and I do — I need to get rid of not only active conflict in my life but the passive conflict of always being prepared that someone will hurt me again now because they did in the past.

Image5flowertreeI don’t need to worry if they are going to hurt me again — not because there is a guarantee that they won’t try again They won’t hurt me because I trust myself not to let them. Experience is my greatest teacher and intuition my greatest guide.

What person(s) do you trust most?