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Image8swanFirst thanks to Sarah. She was kind enough to tell me I missed a post. My first thought was to argue — with myself of course (bring on the ego)  — since I was reading an email and Sarah lives in a different country. I looked down all of my posts they went 299, 298, 297 — so where did I miss one?

I do hope knowing how to count is not a prerequisite to sharing my infinite wisdom about love because apparently I am deficient in this skill.

When I first noticed that Day 298 was there — I missed that it was a draft — so I figured that I mistakenly hit preview rather than publish but nothing was written for the post other than the title. I normally look at the last post to see what Day I am on. So I figured that Day 299 was posted yesterday making it really Day 298 and therefore today should be Day 299. However, I decided to count how many days have passed since I first made the resolution on January 1st. Today, should be in fact Day 298. Indeed, what happened was besides numbering Day 298 as Day 299, I went directly from Day 216 to Day 218 skipping Day 217.

Image11rainbowSo now what? Do I go all the way back to Day 217 and renumber every post? Do I have two Day 298s and two Day 299s and no Day 217? And what the heck does this have to do with love anyway?

The question as it relates to love is: How far back should we go to deal with being wronged? If we perceive that someone has wronged us in some way — does it matter equally if it happened yesterday, a month ago, a decade ago? When is it okay to skip over that offense as if it never happened and just start with a new day and leave the mistake there and don’t look back?

rosebudOne might argue that there is a difference between someone breaking your favorite dish and cheating on you. But in getting over either one, I think the process  can be like having MCS — unique for that person but with overall similarities between sufferers.

For me to assess a problem:

Do a gut check — does it still bother me? If it still does — something needs to be done. Whether I need to talk it out with the other person or ask for an apology…

Did the problem come back? If I skipped over the problem in the first place and it is back in some similar form than I figure it is time to go back to square one and figure out how to correct the problem.

Is skipping over the issue causing a problem for someone else? 

heronlakeIf I take lateness of a friend as an example:

Do a gut check: I don’t say anything to the friend who kept me waiting. If I don’t feel I need to put in a little jab here or there about their rudeness and really don’t think about it any more — then skipping over the problem should be okay. If I find that I’m pointing out this person’s rudeness to other people or two weeks later I keep bringing it up — go back and fix it.

Did the problem come back? If I ignored my friend’s lateness and my friend is leaving me waiting again and again — don’t skip the issue.

Is the problem over the issue causing a problem for someone else? If my friend is truly late one time — let it go. But if my friend is chronically late with me and I ignore it — I’m basically teaching my friend that it is acceptable behavior and they’ll likely make it habit.

frogbeaverlakeSo for mis-numbering my posts: my gut says I can live with it — I’m more aware now so it’s not likely to occur again. You’ll have to let me know if I’m causing you any problems by having incorrectly numbered posts even though they are all there.

A special thanks to Sarah (a link to her beautiful artistry here) for being so aware as to catch my “lack” of a post and to be brave enough to bring it up so that I could get back on track.

So when do you let a mistake go and when to you figure it needs some fixing?