The other day my cat Loki did something that made me laugh. I mean a belly-chuckle-3-minute-can’t-breathe laugh. Two things stood out to me. I scared my cat Nox. She reacted like she does when I’m sick. She kept tenderly but cautiously touching me — totally uncertain what was going on. The second is that I didn’t recognize the sound of my own laugh.
There is definitely a long gestation period to the new me emerging or maybe I should say the REAL me. When I was born into this physical body — I arrived exactly on my due date. I am certain that my metamorphosis will also occur on exactly the date I am destined to spread my wings.
Last night, I set my alarm to make sure I would wake up to go watch the sunrise at the lake. And then I turned it back off. I instead released the need to control when I woke up (both literally and figuratively). I awoke an hour earlier then I had set the alarm and thought, God what would you have me do? Where would you have me go? At that point, I heard the sound of geese way off in the distance. And so I headed for the lake.
I had to wait for sunrise. When I pulled in the parking lot, one of my favorite songs was on the radio, “Wake Me Up” by Avicii. And truthfully, I didn’t think about the significance to the title of that song until just now. That song makes me want to move — so I hope Sonda — that you are proud of me — I got out of the car and I DANCED. I then went up to the swings at the park and watched the sunrise and the gulls soar.
When I headed into the woods for my walk, a young high school couple walked just in front of me. I almost went into teacher/parent mode and reminded them not to be late for school. Instead, I walked to the end of the lake and back. The couple was now more than late for school as they sat on a log kissing as the fog and morning sun danced.
I had just taken this photo and I realized this young couple was the reflection of what I was seeking. They were living in the moment. Joy and love were more important than rules and time schedules and tests. I smiled as I walked by — I found it quite lovely that for the first time in a long time — I didn’t think that I needed to change what someone else was doing — that somehow I KNEW better than their own hearts and souls.
Are you a butterfly or a caterpillar? Have you ever danced in a “strange” place alone? I hope you get a chance to play on some swings today.