“We have associations to things. We have you know, we have associations to tables, and to — and to dogs and to cats and to Harvard Professors, and that’s the way the mind works. It’s an association machine,” by Daniel Kahneman.
We all don’t have the same association to the same thing. Take a newspaper and a dog. One dog may associate going to the bathroom with it, another with fear and pain, and another with early morning snuggling. It all depends — was the paper put on the floor to be pee’d upon or rolled up and used as a punishment or read by a loving “owner” with the dog’s head resting peacefully in his lap.
When I was camping as a teenager, my friends and I saw a shooting star. I wished on it for good luck. My friend became quite agitated and began praying. To her it meant death was near.
If you’ve been along my 143 day journey, you know this post is about things that have happened to me recently. The Universe — God — Infinite Intelligence — which ever word brings you peace — had been giving me associations the last few days — and I did not get them until last night. I have been studying A Course in Miracles. I started 18 months ago when read the text and two books based on it: A Return to Love (Marianne Williamson) and The Disappearance of the Universe (Gary Renard) and I quit. Not because I didn’t believe what I read but because I did. And what I read turned my spiritual beliefs a bit upside down and inside out. This all happening when I first became disabled from MCS. And then 8 months ago, I began again — determined to not quit until I at least finished to entire course. About two weeks ago — I just needed a break. I was exhausted from the daily releasing of my ego and my past and trying to survive a debilitating illness while becoming spiritually enlightened.
A few days ago after meditating, I got the “message” — nice break now get back to the real world. So I went out and started to garden and I walked later in the day when I thought I would run into more people. Apparently, I misinterpreted the message. Yesterday, I kept seeing the #176. And I kept asking, Infinite Intelligence — what is that supposed to mean? Nothing. Just more #176 — on license plates and buses… Last night having surrendered that I was going to go to bed not know what the heck I was supposed to associate the #176 with — I got an email from a friend with a link to a blog. These bloggers had just started a blog about — can you guess? No — not the number 176. They are blogging about A Course in Miracles. There was a big nudge there. So I picked up the book where I had left off two weeks ago. And I smiled. The lesson I left off on was — can you guess? Yes — it was the number 176.
After reading some of the text of ACIM, an image of my first childhood toy popped into my head. And I smiled. I finally got the association. I know that my dad and my Aunt Mary Ellen who both passed when I was young — are my guardian angels. There are symbols in this world that when I see them — I know to associate them with my dad and that his presence is near. But I’ve never had that association with my aunt. I’ve asked multiple times but no connection happened. A little bit ago, I started wearing a ring that had been hers. As a symbol that I was thinking of her. Since then I have seen many chipmunks in the woods where I walk. Each day I’ve seen more than the last. I didn’t think much about it other than I think they are really cute and had fun taking pictures of them. Until the image of my childhood toy popped into my head. Aunt Mary Ellen bought me first and from the bedraggled look of the thing — favorite toy. She bought me a stuffed Alvin the Chipmunk because I had fat cheeks like when a chipmunk stuffs their cheeks full of seeds. I finally have my association with my aunt.
What about you? What do you have associations with? Is there something when you see it or feel it that you KNOW it is comes from a place of Spirit? Are you studying A Course in Miracles?
P.S. If you’re wondering with this being May is MCS Awareness Month and all — how long toxic chemicals stay active — I just found out that the answer appears to be at least 50 years. When I took my stuffed chipmunk out of the cabinet to take his picture, I got an immediate reaction to the fragrance coming from the little guy. He has been in a closed cabinet for around 12 years and stored in a box for close to 4 decades.