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Image2rose“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it” by Rumi.

Yesterday, I sought to observe the 5 things that are listed as being important to be a high achiever on the Happy Planet Index (Nic Marks). To be high on the index one must exhaust few of the world’s resources and experience as many of the following 5 things as possible: connect, be active, take notice, keep learning, give.

I was surprised how easy this was. I decided to walk to my parents for a short visit (active). I had two quick exposures to chemicals that put my MCS reaction into high gear so I was just going to hand my dad the plate I returned. But as I told him I was going to head right back out he muted the TV (I took notice). This is my dad’s subtle way to say he’s lonely. I stayed and visited a few minutes (connection). Somehow, with my parents, I often ended up getting in the middle. When this started to happen again, I took myself out of the “picture” as to what I thought was right or wrong and joined the conversation from the perspective of my parents (learn). This short visit used none of the planet’s resources but my parent’s were happier for it and so was I (give).

Image6icecrackToday’s Intention: Remove some of the icy shell from round my heart. I can go back over the past years and find major turning points in my life when I have added barriers around myself. I can’t go back over the past years and find very many times when I have removed some of these barriers.

Recently, I think I have put some cracks in the ice but I really want to crack myself wide open and let the love come flowing in. Image1river

This intention really started yesterday when I was making the bed. I never used to like doing it but then Nox taught me the joy in it.

Image4gazeboSo today, I headed to a spot that almost 10 years ago, I had had a conversation that left me bereft of the confidence that I could form meaningful relationships. I have since let go of a lot of the pain, but every once in a while, the doubt creeps in and I question my ability to truly love.

I took a few pictures — had my symbolic release of the past and decided to walk up the path. My intuition told me to turn around and walk the other way — back to where I had faced my pain. I ignored my intuition, as I walked my legs felt heavy but I took a few more steps. My MCS went to high alert at some chemicals being released from a construction project. So I turned around and stood and just took in the view.

Image8birdwireI laughed at the birds so like me having to have everything all lined up. I felt a lightness to my spirit as I just allowed myself to enjoy the scene. Image1eagleI turned to go; I almost missed it. Well my eyes almost missed it. My Spirit told me to take another look. Following the path of broken ice out past the open water — there was my symbol of freedom.

The last few weeks, it has flown near me, but I have never been able to rest my eyes upon it long enough to share with you.

Image7eagle                                                       Until now.

And now a gift to you that may help rethink the barriers in your life. How happy would you be if you cleaned toilets for a living?