Yesterday and especially when I woke up this morning — I kept seeing a huge dam holding back a massive amount of water. The dam to me represented my resistance or my fear and the water my abundance.
Water or abundance should flow naturally from its source to its destination.
But often things get in the way to lock it up and prevent its flow.
In the case of the Oswego River, Lock 2 is blocking the flow. In the case of my abundance, it’s worry, regrets, anger, jealousy, (self)pity –in other words — FEAR.
For five decades, I’ve watched yachts go through the two locks and always thought, “I could never have that.” I didn’t realize how symbolic these locks were to me. Human made and human controlled — humans decided when and how fast the river was allowed to flow. I was in my thirties before I had the chance to ride a boat through the two locks I had stared at hundreds if not thousands of times. I was in my forties before I actually walked across the “doors”. I had tried to do it a few other times but fear stopped me.
And when I tried to attract abundance …
I looked away.
I made myself very small and almost invisible.
Seeking abundance meant I had to let go of the idea that I or any other human was in control. This created a lot of fear, uncertainty and …
whenever I tried to ask for abundance there seemed to be a lot of turbulence.
Facing the vastness of abundance…
it overwhelmed me. And soon though I realized that if I pushed love or abundance aside then fear came rushing in. If I pushed fear aside love then abundance came rushing in.
I ultimately decided I liked love way more than fear. But love seemed so foreign to me and fear so comfortable. And so at first I just got my feet wet. And then slowly I knocked the dam down. And I do mean very slowly.
And abundance started to flow into my life. At first I felt guilty because I thought I was taking from someone else. But then I looked at the other side of the dam — the side from hence my abundance flowed and it continued to flow beautifully, effortlessly and limitlessly.
Fear will block abundance. Fear and love cannot co-exist in the same moment. At first you may only be brave enough to swim near the dam and then maybe you’ll be will to climb over it and peek over the side. And once you realize that you have a choice every second of every day — it may take a long time and a lot of dipping your toe into the water and running away — but eventually the fear will slide away and abundance will flow in so quietly — you’ll wonder what there ever was to be afraid of. The more you chisel away the dam — the faster the abundance will flow in.
And you’ll find in the calm waters — you’ll never swim alone.