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Today, I wasn’t going to post – I’m way behind in many things. But when synchronicity builds I just have to go with it. I read a blog post from Kristen’s Chronicles, Sunday Funday and the quote “One of the simplest ways to stay happy is to let go of the sad things.” (Daily Dose)  Yesterday, I thanked people on my blog for following me and then found out it was National Friendship Day. I emailed 4 people that have over the last 10-20 years been my soul mates. I believe I am a soul having a physical experience rather than a person with a soul. This epiphany was a huge shift for me. And that I don’t have one soul mate I have many – an even bigger epiphany. I still have trouble with the knowledge that soul mates aren’t meant to be with me for my entire physical existence – they are meant to be with me until I learn the lesson(s) they came to teach me. 

I awoke first to read Lessons from the End of a Marriage blog on divorce and then to the first day of the 21-Day Meditation Challenge with Deepak and Oprah (free at Oprah.com). Today’s centering thought, “I will allow miracles into my life.”  These two may not seem like synchronicity to you but to me definitely. I knew nothing of the Law of Attraction when I was married. Daily my husband told me I wasn’t worthy. Since I believed this — I got more of it.  

There are three things that need to be done for something to manifest:

Ask

Allow

Receive

I was very good at getting “bad stuff” because I believed I deserved it and I allowed it in. Allowing the “good stuff” in — there I get stuck. All these thoughts that go through my head as to why the miracle did not manifest:

I’m not deserving.

 It’s too big a miracle.

There’s one or more other people involved so no way, they’ll never do what needs to be done.

And then I remembered Star Wars. Yoda lifted the ship from the swamp when Luke Skywalker could not. The difference — Yoda believed — Luke did not.

All miracles are possible and all miracles are the same size. It is my thoughts – beliefs – fear that limits me from manifesting the “good stuff”.

Two of the people I sent the friend email to – I knew from work – I saw them most every day (until I was disabled from MCS)– they know things about me no one else knows. I know if called and asked for help they would be here – I know they still care – but it is not the same. I miss them and I feel sad. (When I first typed the line I typed: I miss them and it makes me sad. I know nothing and no one can make me do anything — it is my choice what I feel.)

So I started at the beginning quote – If I want to be happy I need to let go of the sadness. If my soul mates have taught me their lessons it is unfair of me to not let them go – with love in my heart – and if there is more for them to teach and me to learn – I know somehow they will circle back into my life again.

Today, I have asked the Universe for happiness. You may ask yourself – What? This woman has never asked for happiness before?  I’ve asked — I never allowed myself to receive. One of the people I sent the email to – one of my teachers – once said to me, “A person has no business reaching for the highs, if they aren’t willing to accept the lows.”

I realized that I had avoided the highs because I knew from first-hand experience (starting with my dad’s death when I was six) that I really didn’t want any more of the lows. I aimed for my whole life to be right in the middle. Today, I say “Screw That!” If I have to walk through the proverbial fire to get to happiness – then bring it on. I’m watching too many people suffer in lonely (or worse) relationships, jobs they hate, staying in communities where they do not thrive, creative passions suppressed.  Why? Out of fear?

As I post this for the world to read – Yes! I have suffered for 5 decades because

I WAS AFRAID OF HAPPINESS!

No more fear. I am willing to allow that the people that are supposed to be on my journey of happiness will show up at the perfect time and in the perfect way.

If I have to put up with some lows (lessons) to get some happiness — that’s all good. The receiving has begun. I feel lighter and happier all ready.

 

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